The period of time in which we presently find ourselves might be the most feelingest time of the year. Thanksgiving is the most traveled weekend in our nation. The days around Christmas are marked by feelings of joy and wonder (and maybe exhaustion for the parents of little humans with big expectations). But this season of holidays also has a way of accentuating grief and loss – particularly when it is the first season or holiday following a significant change to our traditions.
Part of our responsibility as a community of faith is to be community to and with one another. This, of course, means that we have a twofold awareness as we remember and journey through these seasons. On the one hand, we are sensitive to the feelings of people in our community, remembering Paul’s admonition in I Corinthians 12, “if one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it.” So we come together to celebrate, we sit together in silent vigil, we make space for the exhausted, we pull up an extra chair for a meal, we call someone whom we haven’t seen in a while.
But there is another side of our awareness too. If we are to be a community (in the words of Stanley Hauerwas) capable of absorbing one another’s grief, then just as we might extend an extra effort to help, we must open ourselves and our pain to be absorbed by our community. We must allow ourselves to be embraced, trusting that when we do so, in some almost illogical way, our pain strengthens our community.
As we continue our Advent journey, and as that journey gives way to Christmastide, let’s open our hearts and our feelings to our community, trusting that in our joy, in our grief, and in all the feelings in between, we more authentically embody the Kingdom of God.